Esther and her choice

This has been a strange winter in Central Texas.  There has been snow everywhere, it has been so cold. We are learning what Arctic Blast means.  But, alas, no snow where we live.  It seems to be everywhere else but here.  My kids are sad.  We are out of school today because we were supposed to be iced in.  But no, it missed up again.  It is sunny outside!  Not to mention, it is March and Spring Break is a week away.  We are usually looking for bathing suits by now, not sweaters.

I told you things were going to be changing and they have.  I've accepted the role of Coordinator for our church's Women's Ministry.  I have already met some amazing ladies who are passionate for the Lord and reaching our community for Christ.  It is so exciting.  My email has been exploding with ladies who have great ideas and suggestions.  I am humbled.

My heart has been blessed by the amazing women who held this position before me.  I can not even begin to tell you the support and encouragement I have in her.  I have relished in her teaching for the past two years. I truly consider her a mentor.  She reminded me of a verse that has meant a lot to me in key times of my adult life.  Do you remember the story of Esther?  It is one of my favorites. She has been brought to a position of authority, a place of power where she can speak up and really do some good, or keep her mouth shut, sit back and just coast along.  So much is at stake.   Take a moment and read it.... it won't take you long... I'll wait.... it's  a great story!

Did you see it? There at Esther 4:14?  Her Uncle Mordecai  is begging her to step up.  
He says,
 "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"

Now, don't get me wrong, this is no "royal position" I've taken on; but, have you been given an opportunity that you did not seek out? It came to you and will allow you to have a hand it what God is going to do?

We all have a choice.  Sit back, keep doing what you are doing or take a chance.  Step up, "For such a time is THIS."
 

Sensory Processing Disorder... beginning our journey

Well, it has been so long I really don't know where to begin.  I have been almost afraid to start blogging again because there is so much to say and I find it hard to put into words.  It has been over 2 years since I was seriously blogging.  It was great and I loved it but then I began working again and I was just unable to blog and keep the family and house going. 

I'd say we have had a  few big changes in our life since I last put it all out there.  I am no longer working (woo hoo), we have a new addition to our family, Spencer.  He is 10 months old and our favorite entertainment these days.  Our other big change is that our daughter has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (aka Sensory Integration Dysfunction).  It is the end and beginning of sorts.  It is the end of the frustration and questioning.  The wondering, "what is going on with her" or "why is she so different, other kids her age don't act this way."  These were the questions I've been asking myself for a few years.  I didn't have the guts to say them out loud - EVER.  I just quietly, secretly wondered. 

Then she began Kindergarten...

Everything changed.  We knew something was different.   It was too hard NOT to notice or talk about it.  There is so much I could say to try and explain but I think these pictures may say it all...

First day of Kindergarten

First day of 1st grade

 They sum up the two expressions she has most.  Anger/frustration and  being totally overwhelmed.

I'll go into more in the blogs to come, but for now, we know... it is a neurological disorder that she will struggle with the rest of her life.  Wow, that was hard to swallow... it still is.

She is in Occupational Therapy twice a week to begin to help her learn how to cope with how her body feels in this world around her.  To help her not feel overwhelmed in new situations;  help her put on her socks without a 30 minute battle to find the precise way to wear them so they don't drive her crazy all day.  She is OVERWHELMED by almost everything around her.  When you can't stand the feel of clothing on your body and all you can think of is taking them off, well it makes it hard to listen to the teacher.  Or if you can't stand to be lightly touched or brushed up against and a classmate accidentally brushes against you in line and you automatically react by yelling or hitting them as a defense mechanism... well, you can see where that would get you in trouble.

We are all struggling at our house to understand this.  But it is a NEW beginning.  I am reading all I can to understand what I can do to help and what will make life more tolerable for her.  I am learning to think 5 steps ahead to cut off a meltdown before it happens.  I'm trying to learn how to discipline a child who is out of control because her body doesn't feel what others feel and a child who is so easily brought to a rage that all I can do is hope she doesn't hurt herself or anyone else.

In the midst of it all, there is a smile, a glimmer of hope.  Today is a good day.  She had OT this morning and loved it.  She actually came out of school today with a smile on her face... that has not happened in a very long time.  

Everyday is a new day, I thank my God for that.  I also thank Him for all of this because he knew long before we did that this would be a struggle... a trial if you will.  

  James 1: 2 - 5

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I'm exhausted.

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm starting over... we are learning how to parent all over again and it is... hard. 

But we are trusting that God will get us through and give us wisdom to help guide and encourage her.

 But this is where we are.    Right Here... Right Now.

God's Plans

I love going to church on Sunday night because our pastor is like a different preacher.  It is a much smaller crowd, much more intimate, and I think he just lets his guard down a bit more.  Tonight he was using 2 Samuel 7:1-17.  This is the passage where King David wants to build a temple to house the Ark of the Covenant, But God has a totally different plan.  David wasn't trying to do something wrong but it wasn't God's timing for the Temple to be built. 

It really got me thinking.  How many times do I think I'm doing what God would want because it is a "good cause" or "something for the church"  but God didn't need my help or even ask for it.   I was also reminded of Abraham who left all he knew to go to a new land that God would give him and he never made it there, but with faith he continued to go the path God sent him.  Moses never made it to the promise land but he continued to be faithful and obey.  They trusted that God had a plan even if they didn't understand it.

Waiting on the Lord, being faithful in the everyday things that he asks of us, listening and then obeying.  It really isn't that hard... why do we act like it is?  I hope this week I stop and wait and listen before just jumping right in.  It might do me some good to actually ask God what his plans are... he may just tell me.

Not Guilty

I was able to go to choir this week for the first time since February.  Some of you know I just had a baby 3 months ago, but it was a tough pregancy so I had to stop singing in choir and take it very easy.  I missed choir more than anything... it is such a special time of worship for me and our church choir is my family.  I was so excited to find out we will be doing an arrangement of this song "Not Guilty" It is awesome.  The first time I heard it a friend sang it in church and I just wept... what powerful words.  All I can think is I am so unworthy of forgiveness... Thank you God for forgiveness....

Healthy Habit?

Well, here we are officially back to work today and truly getting into the New Year. My friend Susan has begun a Monday mimi... "Healthy Habits Monday." Now, I'll be honest with you, the last thing I want to think about on Monday is "Healthy Habits." Most Monday's I'm so frazzled all I can think of is getting to Friday.

So, as I was thinking this morning of this new year and Healthy Habits, it occurred to me the healthiest thing I could do for myself this year does not have anything to do with food or exercise, although those are certainly important and truly need to be addressed. But if I am going to make a change in the way I eat and exercise, the first thing I have to address is my spiritual well being. I have let it go to pot!

Seriously, in the past 8 months I have been so busy working and trying to juggle being a Mom and Wife and my job... I have been frustrated, exasperated and down right depressed at times. Imagine that? I have been working so hard to do it on my own I forgot to just let go and ask God to just take care of it all.

Anyone else been there? Are you there right now?

So my Healthy Habit today involved a LONG talk with God. I asked first for forgiveness for being so selfish and stubborn. I thank Him over and over for my dear family and friends; for good health and safety. I asked that He carry the load I've tried so hard to drag behind me.

You know what? I already feel a few pounds lighter.

Do you have any ideas and plans for Healthy Habits this year? Go see Susan and tell everyone about it.

A Year in Review

I pray you all have a wonderful New Year in 2009! I've seen a few people already list their 2008 highlights... it seems like a great idea to review the year, so here we go!

• Hubby begins grad school
• We realize this means we are both now in grad school
• Beloved Grandma Ruth went to be with the Lord
• We had snow in Kentucky on our trip there, it was lovely
• I started blogging... what a new world and great new friends
• still working at the church- hours increased and so has my stress
• took trip to Corpus to play on the beach
• Kathryn got her first pet... a fish
• Kathryn buried her first pet... a fish
• Kathryn begins preschool and LOVES it
• I become a soccer mom and don't really love it
• We grew carrots in our flower pot
• Facebook became my homepage and I reconnected with so many old friends
• I had car wreck in July and I am still dealing with the insurance company
• We took the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University and it changed our financial life

I am sure there is so much more to add, but these are some of the things that come to mind. It has been a year for sure. Kelly and I both agree we are glad there is only one more year of grad school until completion. We are praying things slow down and are truly trying to make that a priority. We want to enjoy our family and not be tied to responsibilities that hurt family time more than bring us together.

Spend a little time this week thinking over the past year. What would you change if you could? How are you going to live differently in the new year? I'm going to make Loving and Worshipping my Lord a priority. It fell short this year along the way of business and work. I want to love and cherish my family even more and be the Godly wife and mother I know God has planned for me to be.

My heart Song

I know many of you may already subscribe to Proverbs 31 Ministries Daily Devotionals, what a blessing they are. If you do not, let me encourage you to do so. It is a refreshing word from the Lord everyday, written by Godly women on the journey with us.

Today's devotional was especially touching to me as a singer. I am reminded how it is much more important to Worship the Savior with the song in my heart than the words that come out of my mouth. When the heart sings... our outward song has so much more meaning.

To read today's devotional, "A Christmas Solo" by Zoe Elmore please click here!
To subscribe to Proverbs 31 Daily Devotionals click here.

Vote and Pray

If you have not already done so...get off your computer and go vote! It is important. It is important that we take advantage of the freedom we have to vote. It is important way to say thank you to all those men and women who have fought and given so much so that we can keep this right.

When we choose NOT to utilize the freedoms we have... who will fight for those freedoms to stay free?

I am not going to tell you who to vote for... I just ask that you wisely and prayerfully consider all your choices and VOTE. If you believe in and trust God, then you should be praying about your decision. I also think it is imperative that we allow everyone the right to vote their conscience... and NOT criticize or berate those who vote or feel differently.

I heard this the other day and it has stuck with me since then. If we trust God, and truly believe He is in control; then we must trust that no matter who wins...God knew it would happen that way and that ultimately it is part of His plan. He can choose to work through any and all people, even if we do not fully understand how and why. That is what makes Him God... and not me or you.

So... Go VOTE... and Pray... always.

We Cry Out

When all else fails we cry out to You Oh Lord. Why is it that it takes so much for me to just stop and say... Lord I give it all to you...again. When I stop and call you by name Jesus, Lord, Savior, Provider, Keeper, Father...You are all those things to me. Thank you for always being right there just waiting for me to say your name... amen.


for musical inspiration go see Amy.

Deep thoughts by ... a four year old

Lately we have these very deep theological discussions in the car. Usually it is just me and the 4 year old but sometimes my husband get in on the discussions too.

It always starts with a question... like these:

• Mommy, how DOES God hold everything in His hands?
• Mommy, when does God sleep?
  
• Doesn't He get tired? If He sleeps, will we fall out of his hands?
• Does Katy Fish know how sorry I am that I dropped her and are you sure God is remembering to feed her?
• How did God make us out of dirt and why did he use dirt? Doesn't He know it is dirty?
• Did God forget about me because everyone else has a brother or a sister? Can we ask God to remember to send us one of those?
  

All deep thoughts right? But my favorite is this question:

• Mommy, how does Jesus get into my heart?
• Mommy, will I get to go to heaven one day and see Jesus?

And the door is opened...

Thank you Lord for letting me have these little moments to share truth with my daughter.
Please let me always listen for an opportunity to lead her to You. Help me to slow down and not miss it. I pray that her heart will always be soft and yearn to learn more about You and your home heaven, and most of all dear Lord, I pray that at a very early age she will have true understanding and ask you into her heart... to stay... amen

Getting back to the heart of Worship

I am amazed that any of you still come by as I have been such a blog slacker lately. I can assure you that it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with me.

My schedule has changed again and I am trying to figure it all out. It is exhausting to even think about let alone live it! It only took one week in Preschool before we had to start breathing treatments for my daughter. I'm sure it is allergy induced, but not a good way to start off the school year. I'm trying to keep her from getting full blown bronchitis so it is a chore.

I am still struggling with some big issues that are hard to verbalize. So I find myself shutting off. I am making myself sit and write right now because I know it will help me as I work it out in my head.

My dear friend Liz introduced me to Kari Jobe. Do you know her? She is an amazing Worship Leader out of Dallas. It is renewing my spirit to listen to her and allow her to lead me back to the heart of worship.

Liz, Becky and I are beginning our preparations for a Woman's retreat where we will be leading the worship. It is an awesome responsibility. This will be our third year and we all feel that this time we want it to be very different. It is 6 months away to really prepare we feel we must begin now. We are praying and asking God to lead us in our choices of music and asking Him to prepare our heart to lead.

In beginning this process, I am asking myself, "what makes me worthy to lead anyone, how is God going to use me?" But as soon as I ak it I know the answer.

None are worthy and only God working through me/us will anything be accomplished. It is His power we do anything. I am reminded of something I heard a woman say to me... "God doesn't need me or you to do anything, but isn't it wonderful when He does use us? Don't miss the opportunity to be used by Him", she said.

So that is my prayer right now... prepare my heart, use me now and prepare me to be used later.

But even if He does not...

I am thinking today about a sermon I heard on Sunday night. It was Daniel chapter 3. You know the story, Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego. It was good to be reminded of these men, excuse me, Boys, who stood for what they believed in...even to the fiery furnace.


It makes me ashamed to think how easy we have it around here in America. We worship who and how we want. It's the law. But what about all those around the world who worship in secret or in fear of persecution? It is very real today.


But this story also reminds me of the times in my life when I must not compromise and stand for what I believe in because God told me to. This ties to my post on hypocrisy, I suppose it is still close to my heart and on my mind.


So today, if you have time... or better yet... make time to read Daniel 3. My favorite part is this:

Starting in verse 16 "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."


They believed that God would save them, "but even if he does not" They trusted that God had a bigger plan. How hard is that? Trusting God no matter what. Well I can tell you, it is hard sometimes, but that is what it is all about. Putting it all on the line, giving it to God and saying, "no matter what happens... I'm with you God"


Are there areas you need to do this in your life? There certainly are in mine. I'm going to be thinking about that today and talking to God about it. I expect there will be some repentance involved.

My own hypocrisy

Thanks for coming back by my inconsistent posting. I have had a tough time lately getting the time to sit and compose a logical thought. So today, as I sit with my coffee I'm going to share a few things that have been on my mind.

I have had a heavy heart on some topics that hit very close to home, and honestly I just can not share them right now. But at some time I hope that I can.

I find myself thinking a lot about hypocrisy, and that makes me uncomfortable and it makes me think long and hard about my life, my choices and my calling. I find myself struggling to understand all those things at the moment and honestly... I'm doing a POOR job working it out in my head and my heart. Pride has a lot to do with it as well and I am praying that I let go of pride and lay it all out on the line for God and be open to His calling on my life.

Do you have those things in your life that you are very good at and at time you know those things are to be the focus of God's calling for you?

But there are other times in our life where God tells you to put those things aside and do a new work. Sometimes the toughest part about those times in our life is the people around us. They continue to ask you to do that which you are good at, not knowing you are in a time of waiting and searching. That is where pride comes in, isn't it? Putting self aside and saying "no" because it would be easy to say "yes" and would make you "feel good" because you know the response others will have. Now, I know I've posted about singing, and this is not about that. Frankly... God got me over that prideful issue a years ago, so now I really can sing from a thankful and gracious heart.

Am I rambling or making any sense? Here is an example. You have been asked to head up a committee or do a job that you are well qualified for, you have done it in the past and had great success. You've been told, "you have to do this, people respect your opinion and you will stand for what is right."

That is all fine and good, but what if God tells you, "this is not your battle anymore and someone else most do that job." It is time to move on. WOW... that is a hard word to hear. I know there are times when it is OH SO important to stand and make your voice heard. But right now, I think the quiet absence is a much LOUDER voice in the end.

Now, how does this get me back to hypocrisy? In my heart I feel like a hypocrite if I continue to do the work He is told me not to do any longer. I'm praying for guidance, for courage and most of all peace.

Do you have issues you have like this? I'd love to hear about it.

Thanks for listening to me share my heart.

Don't give up on me now!

Have I lost you all? All 10 of you? I know, I'm failing my blogging responsibilities for sure. I have thought about you, my loyal blogging buddies. I just have had no time. I've been over run with...life.

Let me share the past few weeks with you. I'll try not to drag it out as to bore you.

Two weeks ago: as an assistant to the Media minister at our church, we have been planning a national Media Minister's conference here in our city. We have planned for months and months and yes...months. It has been crazy, but it was finally here. To begin the wonderful week-o-fun most of the ministers and their families went one of the BEST water parks in the country. My husband and I went along for a much needed vacation day. We had so much fun, especially since we left the 4 year old at home (thanks MeMaw and PaPaw for babysitting.)

It was a very relaxing day, floating and splashing until about an hour before we were to leave. We realize that our driver's license and a credit card were missing from our "very secure" Velcro pocket. It was a moment of sheer panic. They were at the bottom of some giant wave pool. Immediately we called and canceled the credit card right there from the water park. But our driver's licenses... what to do? Nothing. I began praying right then that God would convict the heart of whoever found them to return them to us, for our own sanity. I prayed this for the past 2 weeks.

So... we proceeded through the week full of conference fun and business. Rushing here and rushing there. I was at the beck and call of the group. All was going just as we had planned all those months. I was so glad. Then on 4th day as I drove to the hotel... I had a car wreck. Yes, Yes I did. Thankfully, it could have been much worse, but there was a trip to the E.R. that day due to neck and back pain. I missed some work and my car is in the shop and I have a rental car. I begin some physical therapy this week, so I'm sure I'll be feeling better soon, but for now it is just bothersome.

Now, this week I've been trying to get back in the swing of things, working and awaiting a long needed family reunion. So excited to see cousins and aunts and uncles. It is such a blast when we all get together. We began the Family fun with a trip to the local Minor league baseball park where me and two of my closest friends sang the National Anthem. So FUN!
We had a BALL! Really we did. Funniest thing about it... did you catch it? On the jumbo tron? They had my name as Lara...not Lana. Hysterical, no really it was, my whole family was there to begin the big reunion, so all weekend they called me Lara. We also had a huge group of friends from church there for the festivities. I will forever be Lara who sang the National Anthem. Now, if you don't think God has a sense of humor yet... just keep reading.

So the next morning as we were getting ready to go meet family for the reunion, I was making this incredible southwest corn dip and I sliced open my finger. Oh yea I did a real good job too. As the E.R nurse said, "you really fillet it" Nice... And to come full circle, guess who my doctor was? The same doctor from a week before from the car accident. We all had a good laugh as he fixed me all up, tetanus shot and all. He did request that I not come back next week. He may be afraid I am stalking him or something.

And what do I say to all that? God is good. He answered my prayers. Two days ago we got a package in the mail...it had both driver's licenses and the credit card in it. No note, just the cards. What a relief. Thank you God.

God is so good, because right before my wreck I was driving and praying and asking Him to continue to take care of my family and myself, and He has and He will continue to.

Am I weary, You better believe it. Do I need a some rest, most definitely, but my God is in control and still taking care of me. We have had some really fun times the last few weeks, peppered with life, smack you in the face, not-so-fun-sometimes-life. Honestly... I wouldn't have it any other way. I like how God helps to remind me that I'm NOT in control, I do need Him everyday, in every way. He keeps my pride in check (Lara) and reminds me whose I am.

Above All...

It has truly been, one of those weeks. Through it all I am reminded that Above All, I know who is in control. I won't go into all the details, but my crazy week ended with a car accident on Thursday morning.

I am alright, shaken and very sore. I am sure I have some physical therapy for my back in my future. But this is what I want you to know, as I was driving I had a sense that this was the day my car was going to get hit. I had been in bad traffic listening to my favorite classical music station and was just talking to God about my week. Praying for my sister and her husband, asking that God would continue to take care of them, I was praying for my husband and for our family, for wisdom in parenting and and wisdom for decisions we need to make.

Then I just said, "God keep me safe in this horrible traffic, keep me safe." It was one minute later, traffic let up and we all started driving at normal speed and then everyone started braking again, expect the guy behind me. He hit me hard. But all I could think was "Thank you God, this could have been so much worse"

So today, I am thankful for Him taking care of me and that Above All... He loves me and you and wants what is best.


For more inspirational music go to Amy's site for Then Sings My Soul Saturday.

And don't forget to come back here for Temp my Tummy Tuesday.

Being an Unhurried Mom...

As I hurriedly read my daily devotional I was stopped by the Lord. An Unhurried Life is the title today. Did anyone else read it? I get it in my email every weekday from Proverbs 31 Ministries. They had not posted today's devotional yet on the website, but I encourage you to go there today and read it, hopefully it will be up soon.

I am convicted about always being on the go, running from one thing to another. How many times have I missed an opportunity from God?

I pray we all take a little time today and look for missed opportunities.

I need thee...

This says it all....



Go see Amy for more inspirational music...

Volunteerism?

This is about Church volunteerism. Don't go away yet, this just might be something you need to read or better yet, give me your opinion.

I see this from two perspectives. The first is as a church staff member. The second is as a volunteer. You could say, I fell into my staff position because of volunteer work my husband was doing. I'll get back to that later.

First let me ask you, do you volunteer at church?

Do you teach Sunday school, children's choir, serve food at Wednesday night supper, sing in choir or praise team? What about running a camera or Easy worship or sound equipment? Do you set up chairs for a service that meets in a gym? What do you do?

Do you do anything but sit in a pew? Don't get me wrong there are times we need to sit and refresh and be renewed in the word. But have you thought that there may be people serving in your church who have not sat through a service to refresh and renew because their job is to "work" during the service. Have you wondered if there is anyone who fill in for them so they can just sit sometimes?

Studies show that most churches run on the 80/20 system; 20% of the people are doing 80% of the work. I would venture to guess that if you are serving at your church, it is in more than one area. Say, choir, teach Sunday school and help out in the nursery from time to time. That is a lot.
As one of my "staff" jobs, I am the volunteer coordinator for our Media Ministry. On any given Sunday, there are 32 media slots to fill. We usually have around 19 people each week to fill those slots. That means that many of these volunteers are working in multiple services (8:30,11:00 and 6:00pm). If they are working in multiple services, when do they get to actually go to church and refresh and renew?

I feel terrible asking peole to serve SO much. It breaks my heart to think that they are getting totally burned out. I have volunteers who have not been out more than 3 Sundays in 2 years. The pastor gets more time off than that. Now it is different in some areas where you can bring anyone in to fill a nursery slot. But these are jobs that require training ahead of time. It is not that the job is hard, it just requires a little training.

I had someone say something to me last night that cut to my heart. I had to ask him to pick up another Sunday service, which means another week of not "worshiping" but "working". He said, "you guys are really taking advantage of me and wearing me out. You are on staff...I am not." I wanted to crumble to the ground right there. I didn't have anything to say, but I am sorry, but I don't have another option.

Now, my husband is a "volunteer". He/we have to be at church at 7:30am each week as he runs graphics/video for the Praise & Worship service as do I from time to time. I no longer have a volunteer to trade off with him every other week. His replacement quit. Who could blame him. My daughter has to spend the night with family on Saturday night because we have to be there so early. We have not gone to church as a family in a long time. My husband also is the engineer at our 11am service that is broadcast for TV, and I sing in the choir for that service. So we are there all morning. Is that nutty?

As a staff member I am burning out the volunteers... as a volunteer... I am burned out myself.

It is a vicious circle, too few people volunteer, making it harder for those who do, burning them out quickly so that they quit and make it tougher for the others, and so on and so on.

Now, this is my question for you. What are you doing to help? Have you wondered, what can I do? Or better yet, have you never asked yourself that question? If so, you are reading this right now because God has a plan and purpose for you in the local church. Our Lord doesn't ask us to do His work without helping us. He blesses each of us with specific abilities—spiritual gifts—for the ministry He wants us to be in. 1 Corinthians 12 affirms that "God gives [spiritual gifts] to each one, just as he determines." (v. 11) We all have something to offer in ministry, because He gave it to us!I am sure there is someone at your church just waiting to get your call or email saying, "I think I'd like to volunteer somewhere."

Do you know your spiritual gifts? If you would like to take a Spiritual Gift Inventory Test you can. It will help you see areas of service you may be perfect for.

Pray about your role in your local church. Pray about it, ask God to show you where He wants you to serve. And above all, pray for those who faithfully serve every week, say thank you when you have the chance.

God of This City

I heard this Chris Tomlin song for the first time a few weeks ago. I love it. I've been working on a video to go with it for a project for Gideons International. The Austin,TX group is planning a scripture blizt to get Bibles in the hands of thousands of people. This song is perfect for that becasue it is about reaching your city for Christ. Our Nation for Christ...this World for Christ. I hope you listen to these words and think about how you can help to reach your city for Christ too.


For more inspiration go to Amy's site and see more videos today!

***Clarification: I did not make this video, I am working on one similiar to this that will have some pictures added regarding the Gideon project. I thought I should make that clear :-) ***

My Story

My sister encouraged me to share my testimony today. She participated in Seek the Lord Sunday's over at Call Her Blessed so I thought it would be good to let you all know a little... OK a LOT more about me. I pray this speaks to you, but most of all I hope it speaks to the wife who suffers from disappointment and despair and unfaithfulness. I pray you find hope in my story.

I accepted Jesus as my savior as a 7 year old. Led to the Lord by my father and I was baptized. I believed early on that God would fulfill his purpose for my life. I learned about God’s faithfulness, in Sunday school, youth group and especially through the witness of my parent’s. Waking most every morning to find my Mother praying with her Bible on her lap. Many of those prayers had my name on them.
I went away to college. A small Baptist school. I felt prepared to face life and whatever would come my way. I was strong in my walk with the Lord and I couldn't wait to see what God had planned for me. While at college, as many people do, I fell in love and got married. I thought, this is what you do, go to school, find the guy, get married, start a perfect Christian story book life.

What I discovered 5 months into our marriage was my Christian husband was addicted to pornography. It was a secret that had already been damaging his walk with the Lord for 5 years. It had such a tight grip on him and it brought unfaithfulness and deception into our home. I was ashamed and too embarrassed to tell anyone, especially my family. I was naive and did not understand that this addiction is a huge problem not only in the secular world but most assuredly our churches today and Satan is using it to destroy Christian men and Christian homes. I am certain it affects families of women reading this today. It is important for wives to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It is important for men to know YOU MUST GET HELP and you MUST repair your relationship with God and your wife.

Soon into my marriage, I began to understand what Ps. 57:2 Says, “ I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me.” I was crying out to God. It was the beginning of a long lesson as God revealed His faithfulness to “work all things for good for those who love Him”.

My self esteem at this point was gone and my marriage was soon in shambles. But God never failed to show himself to me in those times of defeat and depression. He reminded me those words, “I will never leave you or forsake you” “I will work all things for good” “ I have a purpose for your life”. I held to the promises I had learned growing up as I continued to pray for my husband, my marriage and my life.

As the years passed, I finally got the courage to tell my family what was really going on in my marriage. I did not know then, but understand now, the sorrow and desperation my parents must have felt as they watched me struggle to try and make something out of my marriage and my life. This life I could never have imagined for myself, This hurt I never dreamed a good Christian girl would experience. But, the years passed and the level of his addiction increased and the lies he told and his unwillingness to repent were more than I could take, emotionally and physically, after eight years, I finally left.

Divorce was the ultimate failure, I thought. The disappointment I felt in myself, and in disappointing my God and family was almost to hard to bear. I was devastated and heartbroken.

BUT in the lowest moments I knew, God is faithful when a husband is not. God is faithful and true and I can believe Him. “I cried out to God Most High who fulfils his purpose for me.” I held to Psalm 121. “ I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord. He will not let your foot slip, He who watches over you will not slumber.” And my favorite hymn, "Great is thy Faithfulness, Morning by morning new Mercies I see, Thou changest not, they compassion's they FAIL NOT”. Those were the words that brought me peace and the assurance that I would make it through.

My parents, family and friends continually prayed for me. My parents were faithful to lift me up in prayer knowing that God is faithful. Those prayers, I believe, sustained me and gave me strength to continue on.

And now, I have a wonderful husband, who also grew up at the same church I did. And, God has fulfilled a dream of mine that I had given up early in my first marriage, to have a daughter. Her name is Kathryn. Now, with out a doubt I know God’s purpose for me. To faithfully pray for her, as my parents prayed for me.