Hello again

Well, hello old friend. It has been a long time.

 I have had so much to say but very few words to truly articulate what has been in my heart and on my mind. I really believed two years ago when my daughter was finally diagnosed with SPD  (Sensory Processing Disorder) that I would  journal our journey. But honestly, it was more than I could do. I was trying to navigate her twice a week Occupational Therapy and Vision Therapy. Also caring for my young son who also has some of the same sensory issues. He has recently began OT and Physical Therapy to correct some hip and balance issues. Next add a husband whose job now requires full time travel during the week, well, anyway... you get it. I have been busy these few years. I'm not complaining, just telling it like it is. There were days I just couldn't talk about it anymore or think about it. But we are moving forward. 

Kathryn has finished OT, for now.  She begins 3rd grade in a few days.  It feels like such and victory many days and others the SPD is still very evident. But now she calls it her "Super Sensory Powers"  she will tell you how she can actually feel the Earth rotating on its axis. I love that! She has grown so much, not just physically, but in an understanding of her self that I did not know would be possible.

 And for me, well after the birth of my son two years ago I began having all sorts of strange medical problems.  Too many to list but a full hysterectomy occurred last fall and three months ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  That was a shocker to me.  But a HUGE relief to finally have a diagnosis and a plan of action.  New meds and a fabulous Dr. are helping to control my worst symptoms. Hallelujah! Then my dear sister had a Carcinoma removed on her face right next to her eye around the same time.  It was scary but God is Good!  You can hardly see the scar now.  But our biggest concern now is my brother.  He has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.  He is only 45.  It is aggressive and we are scared.  I'm not going to lie.  I am worried. I love him so... it is still hard to believe.

So you see there is SO much going on right now. But,  I am no different than anyone.  We ALL have our "stuff."  We ALL handle it differently.  I am at a point in my life where I feel that I see things so differently than I did years ago.  Is it maturity? I suppose. Maybe this maturity comes from living life and learning perspective, setting priorities, loveing people who are hurting and stuggling to find their place in this world. Realizing what is truly important.  It is hard to do. For me so much of is comes from an understanding that my child's well being and that of our family has forced decisions that years ago would have felt so wrong but in the midst of the storm bring complete peace now.

Trusting in God, it is the key for me.  Putting my faith in something other than my meager self; the Creator of it all.  I am thankful for the calm and guidance I have received from my Heavenly Father.  I feel so blessed and grateful for all that I have yet I understand fully that He has allowed illness and circumstances to challenge and help me grow stronger.  I said it to my brother recently after he had just been diagnosed, "It is not trivial to say that God will not give you more than you can handle.  You can do this.  He has been preparing you for this your entire life." 

Later that evening I thought, that is true for me as well.  If I continue to trust God and lay my burdens at His feet He will give the grace and strength to face each day.  Some days are harder than others but He always brings peace.  This is a good day.  Some days are bad, really bad.  But at my core I am thankful for my faith that brings a peace of mind and a hope for tomorrow. 

 

Being Thankful Today

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I thought I would join the Thankful ladies over at Iris's blog. I know it is important to stop and be thankful as it will renew me and remind me of all my blessings.

Today I am thankful for...

• Day Light Savings Time: I love getting home from work and as I cook dinner it is getting dark outside. I feel like I can put P.J's on and just relax. I love the chill in the air at night, it makes me so happy.
• I am thankful for a friend that took the time to sit down and really listen. It is a rare treat to find and for that I am grateful.
• I am thankful for a husband who works very hard for our family in his full time job and in his studies while in Grad School. It has been tough on us all but it is an investment in our future. I can remember a time in my life when the future seemed so grim, I am in wonder still for God's provision of a Godly husband and father.
  
• I am thankful for Christmas music. I know... already? We are working on Christmas music in choir at church and it make me feel festive and hopeful for time with family.
• I am thankful for my God who loves me.
• I am thankful for time with my daughter. She is a joy and a blessing and frankly really funny! She says and does some of the silliest things. I need to be reminded to stop and just enjoy it all.

And YOU! Yes YOU! Thanks for your encouragement and love as we bond as friends through this bloggy world. I am growing because of you, so Thanks!

Don't forget to visit Iris and be blessed!

Don't give up on me now!

Have I lost you all? All 10 of you? I know, I'm failing my blogging responsibilities for sure. I have thought about you, my loyal blogging buddies. I just have had no time. I've been over run with...life.

Let me share the past few weeks with you. I'll try not to drag it out as to bore you.

Two weeks ago: as an assistant to the Media minister at our church, we have been planning a national Media Minister's conference here in our city. We have planned for months and months and yes...months. It has been crazy, but it was finally here. To begin the wonderful week-o-fun most of the ministers and their families went one of the BEST water parks in the country. My husband and I went along for a much needed vacation day. We had so much fun, especially since we left the 4 year old at home (thanks MeMaw and PaPaw for babysitting.)

It was a very relaxing day, floating and splashing until about an hour before we were to leave. We realize that our driver's license and a credit card were missing from our "very secure" Velcro pocket. It was a moment of sheer panic. They were at the bottom of some giant wave pool. Immediately we called and canceled the credit card right there from the water park. But our driver's licenses... what to do? Nothing. I began praying right then that God would convict the heart of whoever found them to return them to us, for our own sanity. I prayed this for the past 2 weeks.

So... we proceeded through the week full of conference fun and business. Rushing here and rushing there. I was at the beck and call of the group. All was going just as we had planned all those months. I was so glad. Then on 4th day as I drove to the hotel... I had a car wreck. Yes, Yes I did. Thankfully, it could have been much worse, but there was a trip to the E.R. that day due to neck and back pain. I missed some work and my car is in the shop and I have a rental car. I begin some physical therapy this week, so I'm sure I'll be feeling better soon, but for now it is just bothersome.

Now, this week I've been trying to get back in the swing of things, working and awaiting a long needed family reunion. So excited to see cousins and aunts and uncles. It is such a blast when we all get together. We began the Family fun with a trip to the local Minor league baseball park where me and two of my closest friends sang the National Anthem. So FUN!
We had a BALL! Really we did. Funniest thing about it... did you catch it? On the jumbo tron? They had my name as Lara...not Lana. Hysterical, no really it was, my whole family was there to begin the big reunion, so all weekend they called me Lara. We also had a huge group of friends from church there for the festivities. I will forever be Lara who sang the National Anthem. Now, if you don't think God has a sense of humor yet... just keep reading.

So the next morning as we were getting ready to go meet family for the reunion, I was making this incredible southwest corn dip and I sliced open my finger. Oh yea I did a real good job too. As the E.R nurse said, "you really fillet it" Nice... And to come full circle, guess who my doctor was? The same doctor from a week before from the car accident. We all had a good laugh as he fixed me all up, tetanus shot and all. He did request that I not come back next week. He may be afraid I am stalking him or something.

And what do I say to all that? God is good. He answered my prayers. Two days ago we got a package in the mail...it had both driver's licenses and the credit card in it. No note, just the cards. What a relief. Thank you God.

God is so good, because right before my wreck I was driving and praying and asking Him to continue to take care of my family and myself, and He has and He will continue to.

Am I weary, You better believe it. Do I need a some rest, most definitely, but my God is in control and still taking care of me. We have had some really fun times the last few weeks, peppered with life, smack you in the face, not-so-fun-sometimes-life. Honestly... I wouldn't have it any other way. I like how God helps to remind me that I'm NOT in control, I do need Him everyday, in every way. He keeps my pride in check (Lara) and reminds me whose I am.

Being an Unhurried Mom...

As I hurriedly read my daily devotional I was stopped by the Lord. An Unhurried Life is the title today. Did anyone else read it? I get it in my email every weekday from Proverbs 31 Ministries. They had not posted today's devotional yet on the website, but I encourage you to go there today and read it, hopefully it will be up soon.

I am convicted about always being on the go, running from one thing to another. How many times have I missed an opportunity from God?

I pray we all take a little time today and look for missed opportunities.

It has been a quite week in Lake... oh what am I saying?

There are days I wish I lived in Lake Wobegone, in the middle of some story told by Garrison Keillor. He has a way to make crazy and insane sound normal and acceptable. I mean the craziness of everyday life.

We all have the deadlines to meet, children to tend to and a spouse to adore. But there are days... weeks when we just need a break and a little Lake Wobegone.
...where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average."

I'm looking forward to a Wobegone kind of weekend. I hope you can have one too.

My Parents

What I am thankful for today is the legacy of Christian parents. I am blessed to have learned from my parents to love God, love family, love others and to serve God. I learned that each day should begin with prayer and end that way. I observed what it means to work hard and to be trustworthy.

I am thankful for parents who although not perfect, perfectly love each other, their children and now grandchildren. I am thankful that God brought them together so many years ago so they could be my parents.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Day.

I love you...always.

It works for me... always has, always will. For get helpful hints today to to Rocks In My Dyer for Works for me Wednesday.

Circa 1972

You MUST go to my sisters blog and see us. It is a total trip. I had no idea she had this and was working on it. AHHH memories!

Kathryn's Dance

I hope this makes you smile today.

I've been WAY to serious lately

Hey readers... I realize it has been heavy and deep around here lately. So, why not lighten it up a bit, shall we? Now, my husband said, don't blog on this, but who could help from not posting these pictures? We were on a family outing on Saturday and in a crazy- hard to explain accident, my husband completely dislocated these toes. I actually had to pull them back into place myself. (Are you cringing yet?) It was one of those moments, I was either going to make it better or much worse, but how could it be worse? His toes were pointing UP to the sky. It was a moment for sure and he did not as much as yell. He was VERY brave, at least that is what all the kids kept saying. I did agree! Yes, they are broke, and tore all the ligaments, but what do you do for toes? Nothing... he has a fancy shoe to wear and thankfully, he works from home and can take it easy at his computer.

My daughter is so busy being the "Toe Doctor" it is really funny to watch her with him. Last night she explained to me how important it was that while she was sleeping I should take very good care of Daddy. I wonder where she got the idea that I wouldn't? I think she dotes on him more than I do... I'm sure that is true since I am blogging at his hurt toes expense and she is bringing him "feel better toe soup" from her kitchen. In fact she is standing here right now asking why Daddy's toes are on my screen. Oh, and my husband is saying you should all know... they do look much worse now, I took this picture on Saturday night. So, the next time your honey has a horrible accident and he askes you not to post the pictures... do what you think you should... but I just knew that you would want to see them!

Fellowshippin'

We had a great weekend. We went to spend the weekend with my niece on her 1st birthday. She is a doll and we enjoyed it so. I did not expect to feel so refreshed but I did. We parked the car and just hung out all weekend. We floated in the pool and ate... a lot, but that was just fine because we were fellowshipin'. That is Christian for hangin' out with the people we love the most. We talked about the kids, family, church and most of all we just relaxed. I am grateful to Grammy and PawPaw for opening up their home to our crazy family. They are great. We are blessed.

Now we are back to the hustle and bustle of our lives. I'm sitting at my desk at church, I've been here since 7:30am and it is now 6:45pm. I have a rehearsal tonight and it did not make sense to rush home for dinner, just to rush back down to the church. But this is going to be one of those weeks. I have been working 15 hours a week for our Media Minister at church since Fall. I have been asked to increase those hours to 30. I am feeling the stress already. I'm not stressed about doing the work, but I am concerned for the well being of my family. I pray this all works out, and with childcare here at the church and with fantastic grandma's willing to help out, I am blessed indeed with good childcare. But nothing compares to the time I spend with my daughter. So my prayer now is that I can do what I need to at work in a purposful way, utilizing my time wisely and then being able to spend quality time with my daughter when I get home, making the most of my days off.

Taking a breath

We'll I think we made it through. First semester of my husband in Grad school. Today and tomorrow are the last days of classes. He/we have been up until 2am almost everynight the past few weeks trying to finish projects and papers. It has been really hard on all of us. I was making a powerpoint for his presentation at midnight last night/ this morning... whatever. It looks GOOD, I'm sure it will be the reason he gets a good grade.

He has worked really hard and we have hardly seen him in weeks. Kathryn and I really miss him but I know he is anxious to take a deep breath and relax a bit. At least till the summer session begins.

So... way to go Kelly... we are PROUD of YOU!

our snow days...

We flew in to Lexington, Kentucky on Sunday morning after the biggest snow storm in 10 years. It was absolutely beautiful. We needed to see beauty, God knew our hearts were heavy. As you know, the Kentucky Derby is in Louisville, but most of the horse farms are around Lexington. What a vision to look out the airplane window and see all the snow blanketing these magnificent farms.

It was bitter-sweet to be back in Kentucky; so happy to see loved ones, but sad to say goodbye to Grandma Ruth. She already looked like an angel when we saw her at the funeral home, I am grateful for that.

I want to share with you the words to this song... so fitting for a dear wonderful woman who loved the Lord, her family and whose back had not been able to stand for years.

If You Could See Me Now

Our prayers have all been answered. I finally arrived.
The healing that had been delayed has now been realized.
No one's in a hurry. There's no schedule to keep.
We're all enjoying Jesus, just sitting at His feet.

If you could see me now, I'm walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now, I'm standing strong and whole.
If you could see me now, you'd know I've seen His face.
If you could see me now, you'd know the pain is erased.
You wouldn't want me to ever leave this place,
If you could only see me now.

My light and temporary trials have worked out for my good,
To know it brought Him glory when I misunderstood.
Though we've had our sorrows, they can never compare.
What Jesus has in store for us, no language can share.
You wouldn't want me to ever leave this perfect place
If you could only see me now
If you could see me now
If you could only see me now


Song info: Kim Noblitt, (c) 1992 Integrity's Praise/BMI and Dad and Dann Music
Sung by Truth (Russ Lee, soloist) on "Something to Hold On To," 1992.

back to the grind

I can not remember being so happy about President's Day before. But this year we were all home all day. With my husband being in school and work being nuts, we have had little time together this month. BUT this weekend we had fun. We didn't do anything spectacular, we were just together. We didn't go to church Sunday morning, as my daughter has the monster cough and runny nose. So we had a long weekend to just rest, play and enjoy each other. It was great and much needed.

So now... back to the grind stone. I'll go to work later today. I start the cycle of dropping my daughter with my Mom so I can go downtown to work and my husband will get in front of the computer and be on conference calls all day. Back to real life.

Thank you God for a weekend of rest and renewal as a family.