Sensory Processing Disorder... beginning our journey

Well, it has been so long I really don't know where to begin.  I have been almost afraid to start blogging again because there is so much to say and I find it hard to put into words.  It has been over 2 years since I was seriously blogging.  It was great and I loved it but then I began working again and I was just unable to blog and keep the family and house going. 

I'd say we have had a  few big changes in our life since I last put it all out there.  I am no longer working (woo hoo), we have a new addition to our family, Spencer.  He is 10 months old and our favorite entertainment these days.  Our other big change is that our daughter has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (aka Sensory Integration Dysfunction).  It is the end and beginning of sorts.  It is the end of the frustration and questioning.  The wondering, "what is going on with her" or "why is she so different, other kids her age don't act this way."  These were the questions I've been asking myself for a few years.  I didn't have the guts to say them out loud - EVER.  I just quietly, secretly wondered. 

Then she began Kindergarten...

Everything changed.  We knew something was different.   It was too hard NOT to notice or talk about it.  There is so much I could say to try and explain but I think these pictures may say it all...

First day of Kindergarten

First day of 1st grade

 They sum up the two expressions she has most.  Anger/frustration and  being totally overwhelmed.

I'll go into more in the blogs to come, but for now, we know... it is a neurological disorder that she will struggle with the rest of her life.  Wow, that was hard to swallow... it still is.

She is in Occupational Therapy twice a week to begin to help her learn how to cope with how her body feels in this world around her.  To help her not feel overwhelmed in new situations;  help her put on her socks without a 30 minute battle to find the precise way to wear them so they don't drive her crazy all day.  She is OVERWHELMED by almost everything around her.  When you can't stand the feel of clothing on your body and all you can think of is taking them off, well it makes it hard to listen to the teacher.  Or if you can't stand to be lightly touched or brushed up against and a classmate accidentally brushes against you in line and you automatically react by yelling or hitting them as a defense mechanism... well, you can see where that would get you in trouble.

We are all struggling at our house to understand this.  But it is a NEW beginning.  I am reading all I can to understand what I can do to help and what will make life more tolerable for her.  I am learning to think 5 steps ahead to cut off a meltdown before it happens.  I'm trying to learn how to discipline a child who is out of control because her body doesn't feel what others feel and a child who is so easily brought to a rage that all I can do is hope she doesn't hurt herself or anyone else.

In the midst of it all, there is a smile, a glimmer of hope.  Today is a good day.  She had OT this morning and loved it.  She actually came out of school today with a smile on her face... that has not happened in a very long time.  

Everyday is a new day, I thank my God for that.  I also thank Him for all of this because he knew long before we did that this would be a struggle... a trial if you will.  

  James 1: 2 - 5

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I'm exhausted.

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm starting over... we are learning how to parent all over again and it is... hard. 

But we are trusting that God will get us through and give us wisdom to help guide and encourage her.

 But this is where we are.    Right Here... Right Now.

Do you have your Protectors on?

I was sitting at my computer and I kept hearing a "thud" over and over again. I became concerned as we have repeatedly told our daughter NOT to jump from the arm of the couch in her room or I guess I should say... jump off of ANYTHING in her room. We have already made one trip to the ER with a straddle injury from her jumping off of the end of the bed. That was no fun and I'd just rather we NEVER go through that again. So when I walked in to her room this is what I found.

Yes, the lovely couch usually has the blue cover on it. Apparently it had come off with all the jumping. I caught her in mid climb and she slid down on the couch to the position you see above and in the outfit you see. So I asked, hesitantly, "What are you doing and WHAT do you have on?"

"I was jumping, but I'm protected Mommy. These are my Protectors."

Yes, let us look at the complete outfit shall we? There is a helmet, elbow "protector" and my favorite... foot "protectors." The apron was left over from our cooking earlier. That was just added for fanciness.

Now if you people will just leave me alone, I can get back to my work- jumping.
Don't you love the Kleenex box most of all? I did my best not to laugh while she was in the room because she was SO serious about it, like she had spent a lot of time thinking it all thru.

There are some things you just can not make up, for those things we are just glad to have a camera close by.

PaPaw and the Perfect Day

Let me tell you, I love my Daddy. He is a great PaPaw. Now don't get me wrong, Me Maw is great too and does so many wonderful things with my daughter, but yesterday, My Dad, PaPaw, made me so proud.

First let me tell you what we have been going through for the past year. My daughter was potty trained at age 3, she is 4 1/2 now. But increasingly she began having trouble going "poopy" on the potty. (Sorry... should I have started by telling you that in case you did not want to know; Oh well... continue on if you don't get bothered with parenting and potty issues).

As I began to understand, this is not unusual. She began this terrible cycle, constipation, pain, holding it in, more pain... it was a terrible cycle and with it she began NOT going poopy on the potty. She would hold it till she could hold it no more and then... accident.

It was so frustrating as a parent to watch. I got advice from so many people and it was everything from "don't worry she'll go in the potty again... don't force her" to " you better just spank her and she'll get the idea" It was terrible. Our doctor was great, she said not to make a big deal about it, it will happen. I was feeling like a horrible parent and worst of all... my daughter was suffering. We even began to promised her treats if she would poopy in the potty and my Dad told her if she would start going in the potty, he would buy her something extra special. Well that was months ago.

So we continued on...We added things to her diet increased liquids, juices... everything. Finally, our doctor told us to give her Miralax daily. It is a natural stool softener. I just prayed that it would take effect and help her out. It took us doing this for a long time... a few months actually. I guess with the constipation getting better and she realized that she was not having pain anymore... Well it happened... the light bulb went off... she did it!!!
Right after Christmas my hubby and I went away for a few days and when we were gone, she did it. Right in the potty, like a big girl.

I just can not tell you what a big deal this is and what an answer to pray it was. Then we got back in town, she was literally sitting at the door at my in-laws waiting for us to tell us, "Mommy I went poopy in the potty and it didn't hurt! I went yesterday and today!"

I don't know who was happier, us or her. I have never been prouder of her. I suppose if you do not have a child yet or have not gone through this it is hard to understand, but I am so proud.

So the next thing Kathryn said to us was, "I need to tell PaPaw."

When we all got home we called MeMaw and PaPaw and told them the good news. Kathryn got on the phone and said, "PaPaw, I did it! In the Potty!"

So yesterday, My Daddy, took my little girl out. They went to Walmart, she picked out the new Sleeping Beauty doll with the fairies. She lights up... it is beautiful. Then they went to McDonald's, her favorite place (yes, I hate to admit it).
They had their own little day out. She thought she was queen for the day and my heart just swelled. She said it "was the bestest day I ever had." Well who wouldn't agree?

I am so thankful for my parents and in-laws who love our child so much and truly partner with us as we try to raise her and encourage us as we struggle.

By the way, she has been "going" everyday... no accidents since Christmas. Thank you God.

Being Thankful Today

Don't forget to come back for Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays. We are really having fun.
We'll be revealing more about our Tempt Me with a Giveaway on Dec. 16th, so be sure to check back!



I thought I would join the Thankful ladies over at Iris's blog. I know it is important to stop and be thankful as it will renew me and remind me of all my blessings.

Today I am thankful for...

• Day Light Savings Time: I love getting home from work and as I cook dinner it is getting dark outside. I feel like I can put P.J's on and just relax. I love the chill in the air at night, it makes me so happy.
• I am thankful for a friend that took the time to sit down and really listen. It is a rare treat to find and for that I am grateful.
• I am thankful for a husband who works very hard for our family in his full time job and in his studies while in Grad School. It has been tough on us all but it is an investment in our future. I can remember a time in my life when the future seemed so grim, I am in wonder still for God's provision of a Godly husband and father.
  
• I am thankful for Christmas music. I know... already? We are working on Christmas music in choir at church and it make me feel festive and hopeful for time with family.
• I am thankful for my God who loves me.
• I am thankful for time with my daughter. She is a joy and a blessing and frankly really funny! She says and does some of the silliest things. I need to be reminded to stop and just enjoy it all.

And YOU! Yes YOU! Thanks for your encouragement and love as we bond as friends through this bloggy world. I am growing because of you, so Thanks!

Don't forget to visit Iris and be blessed!

sick kid alert

I don't know about where you are, but everyone I know has been sick. Is it already time for that? I seems like usually we have another month before we are walking about with Nyquil and TheraFlu. My husband was sick last week, I started feeling bad a few days ago...now my daughter is running temp of 103-104 degrees. AURGH!

I hate that my sweet girl gets everything 10times worse than we do, so we get to see the doctor this afternoon.

I just thought I'd share our fun for the day. Oh... not to hold anything back from you, in the middle of the night she totally threw up all over me. Hardly any of it was on her, but me... I was COVERED!

Fun stuff. Parenting... not for the weak, that is for sure.

Deep thoughts by ... a four year old

Lately we have these very deep theological discussions in the car. Usually it is just me and the 4 year old but sometimes my husband get in on the discussions too.

It always starts with a question... like these:

• Mommy, how DOES God hold everything in His hands?
• Mommy, when does God sleep?
  
• Doesn't He get tired? If He sleeps, will we fall out of his hands?
• Does Katy Fish know how sorry I am that I dropped her and are you sure God is remembering to feed her?
• How did God make us out of dirt and why did he use dirt? Doesn't He know it is dirty?
• Did God forget about me because everyone else has a brother or a sister? Can we ask God to remember to send us one of those?
  

All deep thoughts right? But my favorite is this question:

• Mommy, how does Jesus get into my heart?
• Mommy, will I get to go to heaven one day and see Jesus?

And the door is opened...

Thank you Lord for letting me have these little moments to share truth with my daughter.
Please let me always listen for an opportunity to lead her to You. Help me to slow down and not miss it. I pray that her heart will always be soft and yearn to learn more about You and your home heaven, and most of all dear Lord, I pray that at a very early age she will have true understanding and ask you into her heart... to stay... amen

Our First Soccer Game

It's official... I'm a soccer mom. It was so fun. Kathryn has only had one practice and that was to tell the kids, "this is a ball, you kick it... don't use your hands". And then we had a game. Too funny!

Is This the little girl I carried?

As usual, this has been a busy week and I realize I have not shared my thoughts on birthday. My girl turned 4 this week. I can hardly believe it. As I am sitting here I find myself humming "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof It is fitting this week. I am thinking back to our first night together in the hospital.
Ok...beside the fact that I am huge...I truly remember thinking my life has just begun. What a sense or before and after that I will never experience again. Life before Kathryn and life with her.
I am amazed watching her as she changes and has become this kid. No longer the little baby, but a child, my dear child. I am listening to her right now as I type, she is in her room singing "Under the Sea" at the top of her lungs and I'm sure she is dancing. She has such joy, she loves to play, loves to pretend and just plain old loves...everything! I love her and I am blessed everyday by her. Some days she makes me crazy, but that is what it is all about. Happy birthday sweetie... Mommy loves you.

Katy Fish

Don't you just love the names your children come up with? Usually when I ask my daughter, "what are you going to call that toy?" Usually the name is something like "salinga or sillywanga or watulla" Very creative, but I know that if it is something I will actually need to remember I ask if we can find a name that Old Mommy can remember. So our new fish is Katy Fish.

On Saturday we took my daughter to Petsmart to surprise her with her birthday present (Today is actually her birthday, I'm sure I'll post tomorrow about that when I have a pictures to share). She has been asking for a fish for a month so we thought we would get her one. Thankfully the helpful Fish-guy convinced my daughter that a Beta fish was the "fanciest" fish there was and much "prettier" than a goldfish. Hallelujah - she loved that! The goldfish requires much more work, he said. Which did not sound good to me. The Beta... hardly any at all. My kind of fish! So Kathryn picked out her fish and was so proud.
When we got home we got Katy Fish all set up. Then my daughter spent the rest of the day sitting by the fish. She brought all her favorite toys down to meet Katy Fish. She even wanted to watch a movie with her new best pal...Little Mermaid of course. But the best was when I saw this.. She was reading a book to Katy Fish. Too cute.

Now... we have already had a few "incidents". She confessed to taking the fish out of the tank and putting her on the table... Oh and did I mention we found some "fin" floating at the bottom of the tank? Not sure what happened there, I believe someone was trying to "pet" her new pal.

Birthday present Extravaganza?

We have had a busy weekend... what am I saying? It is always busy here, this weekend was no different. Can someone out there tell me if you life isn't busy? I'd like to know your secret. Oh, sorry, I digress. So this weekend we had lots of family in town. My wonderful sista and her family were at my parent's house and my husband's sister and her family were at my in-laws home. We live in this sort of triangle. My parents live 4.98 miles NE of us and my in-laws are 4.12miles North of us. It is great, but when there is a lot going on and especially on holidays, we do the "back-n-forth." You know what I mean? I try so hard to be fair and spend equal amounts with everyone and it makes a girl weary. But we had a great time with everyone. Kathryn was really in hog heaven or I guess I should say, cousin heaven. Gracie makes us all laugh and we love to see her learning to walk and discover the world around her. My sister-in-law has triplets who are 6 days older than my daughter. So when we see them it is a whirl wind! They wear me out. I honestly think my sister-in-law is amazing. I feel overwhelmed with my one child and she is this calm presence in the midst of a storm of activity.



June is also busy because it is birthday month. This is the list of birthday's we have beginning at the end of May running through the end June:

my daughter, 6 cousin b-days, one grandma, one auntie, one great-grandma, and great aunt. I feel certain I left something out there... Oh Yes... Father's day is in there too!

That is A LOT of birthdays. Are you hearing me? I went to Walmart on Friday to buy 5 presents and got out of there having only spent $54, and that was with a few non-bday items. I have to say, I was happy with that. I told my husband, we have to add a few line items into the big Dave Ramsey budget for June birthday's next year. I don't know why it surprises me, but it always does.


So we had birthday celebrations all weekend at the different family houses. Now, this is interesting and I don't know how everyone else handles birthday presents for the kiddos. We are trying desperately not to give in and buy everything she asks for or that we see in the store. I watch her in her room with her toys and she can and will play for hours with the toys she has now, so I think, she doesn't need a bunch of new toys. I say all that to say this, I was overwhelmed at the amount of toys the cousins got for their birthday. I felt sorry for my daughter just sitting there watching them open all these gifts. It took forever. I could not believe it. I lost count but each child must have gotten 5-7 things including clothes. My daughter sat there and had this shocked look 0n her face as I guess I did too. Then I started wondering, are we terrible parents because we don't do this? Now, please do not get me wrong, It is there choice to buy these gifts for their children and they have the money to do so and that is great. If you are big present buyers, good for you. I just have a hard time bringing that much new stuff into an already full room of toys that still get played with.


My daughter's bday is next week. This is what she has consistently asked for... a gold fish. Now, she has started adding things to that list after this weekend (imagine that) they include a crab and a horse. The horse makes me laugh, I'm not sure where that came from. But this is what we have planned for and what she is getting: 1. a gold fish 2. a sleep mat for preschool (she has to have this for nap time and we did not have one 3. a new princess gown.

That is it. I know she will be getting other toys from family the few friends that we invited to the bday party.


So... that is what I am pondering this morning, birthdays and presents. I would LOVE to hear from some of you on the child birthday gift situations at your house. Do you go all out or are you birthday present minimalist? I really do want to know so send some traffic here and lets see what the consensus is, shall we?

Audrey's Song

This is a song and video that some of you may have seen. It is about Audrey Caroline. Her mother is Angie Smith, wife of Todd Smith of the group Selah This is a story that I'm sure most of you know, so I won't try to tell it again. But I will tell you why this song means so much to me. It seems this year God has been speaking to me about life, how truly precious it is and how fragile the youngest among us are. Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile have heard me tell the story of our friend who lost their daughter in November, her name was Audrey too. Then Jackson passed away . My cousin, who I love dearly had an ectopic pregnancy two weeks ago and lost her baby. And a very dear friend of mine was told that they will not be able to give birth to a baby conceived by she and her husband.

My heart has been breaking for all these families and yet I know God is in control and He loves them all. He hold the lives of the smallest baby, still yet to be born and he hold each and every one of us. I am overwhelmed beyond any words I can bring to mind for the gift of my daughter. And because of her, I am that much more aware of the pain only a mother can imagine at the loss of a child and that is why this sweet song pulls at my heart. I continue to pray for those who have lost a child and for those who suffer and grieve for the loss of the child they had always hoped to carry and will not be able to do so.

For more inspirational songs and music visit Amy's blog for Then Sings My Soul...

Stupid things parents say

As a parent I totally find myself saying things that just sound plain stupid. I know you know what I mean. This totally reminds me of one of those moments. Enjoy!

Payback or something...

So, since we came back from our trip to Kentucky, my daughter is paying us back for leaving her, I guess. My parents tell me what an angel she was for them and what a joy she was. I am thankful for that. BUT for us... OH MY GOODNESS. Every night it has been a battle of wills to get her in bed. This has not been a problem before, but now, Oh MY!

I will say this... we had been letting her sleep with the light on, I know you are saying, duh stupid, that was a mistake. Well, she slept as good as she did with it off but it was a stage of being afraid of the dark. THEN I found out that when at the grandparents house, this was not happening. So, we told her that the light was going off...and the battle has begun. Friday night, she screamed, I mean SCREAMED in her room for over an hour. At one point, I really thought our neighbor, who is a police officer, was going to come over and arrest us for abusing our child because I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard her. Even though she was in her room all by herself. But she finally relented and fell asleep. Temper tantrums have never been an issue with our child. So this is new. Really, it is. She is trying us at all levels.

We stood strong, we did not give in, we did not go back into her room, even when she was screaming for Daddy. Of course she did not scream for me, she knew I would not give in, Daddy was her best hope and I was so very thankful that he was firm. I know he tends to give in and I am praying daily, literally praying daily that he will be firm and consistent in discipline. It is tough for Daddy's to be firm with their little girls. But I am tired of being the bad guy and after this week, his patience has run thin.

So, we will continue to go over The Rules every night they are:
1. Lights off
2. Stay in Bed
3. No talking - be quite
4. No playing
5. eyes closed go to sleep

Am I forgetting anything? She is 3 1/2 years old. In case you did not know.
Please someone, tell me this too shall pass! I'm trying all the "Love and Logic" I can think of but I feel like I'm failing a bit right now.

I'm ready... hit me with your best advice...PLEASE!